Beyond the simple entertainment of sport and the ritualistic following sports fans upkeep on a week-to-week basis, there is another, perhaps greater, aspect that we can't help either love/hate. These would be the oft-errantly mesmerizing concoctions of such bombastic qualities we fans can't help but snicker (or gasp, depending on the ridiculousness).
So let's take a moment to review some of the best sports quotes of 2008 (in no particular order).
1) "The coaching staff is in place."
-Jerral "Jerry" Jones, Owner, Dallas Cowboys
There's really no way to describe this masterpiece other that to say watch this.
The great humor of the whole ordeal lies squarely in the astounding ass beating the Cowboys received just days later. If Jerry seemed flabbergasted here, I can't imagine his reaction during that massacre.
2) "Michelle, you look good tonight girl... you lookin' good."
-Kevin Garnett, Power Forward, NBA Champion Boston Celtics
So let me get this straight, after 13 years of playing with a mostly inept Timberwolves squad, KG finally ends up on a star-studded winner which just so happens to be one of the most storied franchises in NBA history, and standing proud as a victorious champion with Queen blaring in the background, he has time to notice and comment on how Michelle Tafoya looks? Oh well, not even that can top Joe Willie Namath.
3) "Lebron James! With no regard for human life!"
-Kevin Harlan, NBA Play-by-play commentator, TNT
This little gem was dropped in our laps after an audacious dunkification by King James himself. Apparently, being able to blow by defenders in a pair of high tops and soar above the rim before stuffing a round, inflated piece of leather into a metal hoop with a small sheer curtain dangling from it now couples you with such geniuses of malevolence as Adolph Hitler, Ted Bundy, Osama Bin Laden, and the Bush formerly known as President.
4) "First of all, I want to thank Tiger for not being here. That always makes things a little bit easier."
-Sergio Garcia, PGA Golfer
Is it any wonder why Tiger Woods wins everything? The other golfers are obviously terrified of the man. Garcia, here quoted after winning the Players Championship, is simply thrilled at the notion that Tiger is nowhere to be seen.
Hey Serg, if you don't want Tiger on tour, go Shane Stant on his ass and hope you don't whale up like Tonya Harding.
5) "If you don’t, OK. If you do, OK. Then you’re really a great player. If you don’t, you’re just a solid, good player, and I’ll have to deal with that, not you guys. That’s just part of the job."
-Tony Romo, Starting QB, Dallas Cowboys
As a stand alone this quote means nothing. In context it's a brilliant illustration of why exactly Romo becomes Blowmo when it matters most. This would be TR's response to the importance of winning. Sure, he's got a balanced perception of the world and it's nice to know he's not going on a suicidal binge drinking fest following the season. But you just don't say this. Especially not after you just played terrible on the way to getting your ass kicked right out of the playoffs... and you were pre-season Superbowl favorites.
In the end there's probably 50 more that deserve mention. 2009 should be even better... I can't wait for Rickey Henderson's Hall of Fame acceptance speech...
So let's take a moment to review some of the best sports quotes of 2008 (in no particular order).
1) "The coaching staff is in place."
-Jerral "Jerry" Jones, Owner, Dallas Cowboys
There's really no way to describe this masterpiece other that to say watch this.
The great humor of the whole ordeal lies squarely in the astounding ass beating the Cowboys received just days later. If Jerry seemed flabbergasted here, I can't imagine his reaction during that massacre.
2) "Michelle, you look good tonight girl... you lookin' good."
-Kevin Garnett, Power Forward, NBA Champion Boston Celtics
So let me get this straight, after 13 years of playing with a mostly inept Timberwolves squad, KG finally ends up on a star-studded winner which just so happens to be one of the most storied franchises in NBA history, and standing proud as a victorious champion with Queen blaring in the background, he has time to notice and comment on how Michelle Tafoya looks? Oh well, not even that can top Joe Willie Namath.
3) "Lebron James! With no regard for human life!"
-Kevin Harlan, NBA Play-by-play commentator, TNT
This little gem was dropped in our laps after an audacious dunkification by King James himself. Apparently, being able to blow by defenders in a pair of high tops and soar above the rim before stuffing a round, inflated piece of leather into a metal hoop with a small sheer curtain dangling from it now couples you with such geniuses of malevolence as Adolph Hitler, Ted Bundy, Osama Bin Laden, and the Bush formerly known as President.
4) "First of all, I want to thank Tiger for not being here. That always makes things a little bit easier."
-Sergio Garcia, PGA Golfer
Is it any wonder why Tiger Woods wins everything? The other golfers are obviously terrified of the man. Garcia, here quoted after winning the Players Championship, is simply thrilled at the notion that Tiger is nowhere to be seen.
Hey Serg, if you don't want Tiger on tour, go Shane Stant on his ass and hope you don't whale up like Tonya Harding.
5) "If you don’t, OK. If you do, OK. Then you’re really a great player. If you don’t, you’re just a solid, good player, and I’ll have to deal with that, not you guys. That’s just part of the job."
-Tony Romo, Starting QB, Dallas Cowboys
As a stand alone this quote means nothing. In context it's a brilliant illustration of why exactly Romo becomes Blowmo when it matters most. This would be TR's response to the importance of winning. Sure, he's got a balanced perception of the world and it's nice to know he's not going on a suicidal binge drinking fest following the season. But you just don't say this. Especially not after you just played terrible on the way to getting your ass kicked right out of the playoffs... and you were pre-season Superbowl favorites.
In the end there's probably 50 more that deserve mention. 2009 should be even better... I can't wait for Rickey Henderson's Hall of Fame acceptance speech...
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