I just received my complimentary sample of Starbuck's Via instant coffee. Complete review coming soon!
Warning: Some content may be objectionable to those who have a tenderness to certain "curse" words.
Terrell Owens was released from the Dallas Cowboys today after 3 tumultuous years which included a “suicide attempt”, a crying defense of his “quarterback” and an open feud with Jason Garrett, his “quarterback,” and his “quarterback’s” butt buddy.
Despite being the ripe age of 36, Owens is always in peak physical condition and despite a nagging hamstring, he rarely has any injury problems. Catching 10 TDs last season and racking up over 1,000 yards, the move was hardly based on lack of production. So the question then becomes: Where does T.O. G.O.?
Well, there are a handful of teams you can logically exclude immediately: Cowboys, Eagles, Vikings (head coach was Eagles offensive coordinator during Owens tenure), 49ers (even multiple regime changes aren’t likely to fade his time there into history), Dolphins (no way, no how with Parcells in charge), Colts and Steelers (he doesn’t fit their m.o.), and Cardinals (set at receiver).
Of the remaining 24 teams which don’t have personal or personnel issues with signing Owens, there is another group which likely cannot offer the amount of money Owens would command. Owens previous contract brought in a whopping 8.5 mil a year, a figure he won’t likely be able to duplicate anywhere else. However, his price tag won’t be much lower due to his clout. Also, because Owens is 36, he won’t likely want to sign a multi-year, back-loaded contract, which would make the most fiscal sense for teams with payroll issues. Additionally, these teams aren’t likely to want to fork over gobs of guaranteed money to a guy who is not only a proven liability, but an aging, proven liability. This eliminates the Washington Redskins, who are 4.9 million over the salary cap. The Redskins make a lot of sense from a football standpoint (division rival to both the Cowboys and Eagles, need for a big-time receiver, good, young QB who can get the ball downfield), but financially, they probably just can’t hack it. The Raiders at $653,000 under, the Buccaneers at $5.1 mil under, the Titans at $6.2 mil under and the Chiefs at $7.3 mil under, all also likely fall into this category. Though Owens to the Raiders would be one of those beautiful, enigmatic Al Davis signings.
That whittles the list to a slim 19 teams. Of the remaining 19, a handful can be eliminated from a strictly football standpoint. The Seahawks recent signing of TJ Houshmandzadeh likely deflates their interest. The Bengals can barely handle Chad Johnson, so I seriously doubt they would take much interest in yet another PR and locker room headache. The Broncos still have Brandon Marshall, despite his pending legal problems, so they seem set at WR. The Lions have a young Calvin Johnson, who I doubt they want to concern themselves with lessening his looks.
Furthermore, Owens will likely refuse to sign with any team who isn’t a Super Bowl contender or a player or two away from being one. This would eliminate the Texans, Jets, Bills, Saints, Rams, Jaguars, Browns, and Packers.
So this narrows our list to 7 lucky finalists: Patriots, Giants, Bears, Chargers, Falcons, Ravens, and Panthers.
1) Patriots:
Moss and T.O.?! Holy shit. Brady may throw 90 TDs. But could they share the spotlight? Doubtful. T.O. does seem like the kind of pick-up the Pats would take a flyer on, even though they don’t really have a need at WR. Even still, the addition of Owens would only make the Pats passing attack that much more indefensible… and they are good enough to win the SB just about every year of late.
Percentage of signing: 20%
2) Giants:
From a football standpoint, this would make a helluvalotta sense considering the pending legal problems of Plaxico Burress. T.O. would get his wish of playing on a SB contender and with a QB who can not only get him the ball, but is a proven winner as well. And if there’s a bigger stage than the Big Apple and playing for the New York football Giants, it is unbeknownst to me. Plus, what better way for the Giants to get a dig on their division foes?
Percentage of signing: 50%
3) Bears:
This would be an interesting option. The stage is certainly big enough. The team is certainly good enough. The need is there. But QB play may be an issue. Also, the Bears offense is much more conservatively operated, with a heavy dose of Matt Forte on a weekly basis, which may be unattractive to Owens.
Percentage of signing: 10%
4) Chargers:
This one is kind of mind bending. On the one hand, this would make a lot of football sense. Rivers really emerged last year as a top-tier NFL QB. The Chargers have several good receivers, but not one definitive playmaker at the position. They are built for now and ready to make a SB run. They throw the ball around a good deal, despite the presence of Ladanian Tomlinson and T.O. wants to play in an offense with other weapons. But, the front office’s issues with L.T. make you wonder how they would even dream of handling a player like T.O. This could be a perfect fit. Or something that blows up their face… quickly.
Percentage of signing: 45%
5) Falcons:
It’s tempting to eliminate the Falcons from the get go because of the presence of Roddy White (much like we did with the Lions). However, the two teams are in distinctly different situations. The Falcons made the playoffs last season (and played the SB runner-up damn close, we might add) and could potentially be a player or two away from being a legitimate threat. White and T.O. would make a dynamic duo on the outside. The Falcons are certainly looking to upgrade their offensive weapons. Ryan is a smart, young QB, who seems to be the heir apparent to the face of the league once the Mannings and Bradys of the world pass into history. The Falcons run a balanced offense, which may be a turn off to Owens, who wants the damn ball. Also, can he play with another receiver who is an equal to or greater than threat than he at this point in his career? Couple that with the relative obscurity of playing in Atlanta and the fact that we’ve only seen one season of Matt Ryan and this seems like an unlikely destination for Owens.
Percentage of signing: 12%
6) Ravens:
Ah ha, now here’s a team that makes sense. Owens was nearly traded to the Ravens several years ago, before inking with the Eagles. He has a friendship with Ray Lewis, who has the type of personality that could keep him in line (maybe?). They are a perennial playoff contender and while it may not be a massive market, it’s certainly not a small one either. Two glaring issues would be the Ravens ball-control offense and the uncertainty of a rookie QB. But hell, even as much as they run it, if they had Owens, he would be who they threw to. He’d get plenty of looks and touches and Flacco’s arm ranks up there among best in the league in terms of strength. This move makes a lot of sense. One I’d keep my eye on, for sure.
Percentage of signing: 60%
7) Panthers:
Pairing T.O. with Steve Smith would be downright scary. Honestly. Delhomme has taken this team to the Super Bowl, though his play of late wouldn’t be any indicator of that. But there’s a lot of reasons this move doesn’t make sense. For starters, the flip side of the two previously mentioned. Could he work with Steve Smith? Would he be confident Delhomme could get him the ball? Not to mention the run, run, run, run, run offense the Panthers like to run and the tough personality of head coach John Fox… really, this just doesn’t make sense.
Percentage of signing: 2%
There you have it. If we had to put our money on it today, I’d lay down a solid Benjamin on the Ravens. But I wouldn’t shut my eyes on the Giants… there could be something there. This saga should be an interesting one to unfold.
Live and Contemplated: Jimmy Eat World-Clarity 10x10 Tour
3/04/2009 10:17:00 AM
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by Dustin
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0
comments
I remember flying back from Chicago in 1999 to Oklahoma City, listening to Jimmy Eat World's record Clarity, and being utterly caught by its beauty and innovation. Reading the lyric from "For Me This Is Heaven" emblazoned on the disc (we still used discs to listen to music, and portable disc players kids), and being a bit befuddled by it, but coming to understand it later on: "Can you still feel the butterflies?" Oddly, the total runtime of the record was listed next to it, and that was it.
So when JEW announced the 10x10 tour, to celebrate the 10 years (!) since the record was released (and subsequently, foolishly ignored) by Capitol Records, I bought the nearest ticket as soon as it became available. There was no negotiation about it. I was attending.
Clarity is, for many people in their twenties and thirties, a zenith in the period's indie rock, or as it was less PC-called then, emocore. This is a time when Fall Out Boy would have been mocked, and not referred to as "emo," somewhere along the way the plot was lost. Yet when Clarity came out, it was an innovator in the mix of music streaming from the roots of Fugazi, Rites Of Spring, Christie Front Drive, Cap N' Jazz, Sunny Day Real Estate, Jawbox, and the like, a diverse group of music ranging from catchy to angular, all roughly related by the scene they were in, and by most being a movement in "post-punk," where punk aesthetic was stretched into melody and dynamics, both often understated in punk rock at the time.
The record pushed at the boundaries mostly in its epic scale (some longer songs), and in the use of electronic and orchestral layers, something definitely not done at the time in any coherent sense. Rocket From The Crypt had some horns, but this was another monster entirely. Radiohead was pushing these boundaries in a little more mainstream scene, but the use of samplers was pretty anathema among indie rock at the time. Clarity changed this for good. Like wise, "A Sunday" used the now ridiculous Auto-Tune for a BGV, way before Cher ever did, in a tasteful, vocoder way, more Daft Punk than T-Pain.
Yet the album's emotional depth and quality of composition is what lodged it in the hearts of so many young people of the turn of the century. It is the soundtrack to the times, deeply personal and reflective on social themes, leaning towards mysterious lyrics that helped to keep it from being solely based on relationship woes or railing against the consumer culture. "Lead my skeptic sight" was coupled with "Turn off your radio!" For me personally, no record is as complete since this one, in theme, imagery, soulfulness, earnestness, and musical experimenting with pop craftsmanship.
So the live show.
The Ogden Theater in Denver was a great venue of a couple of thousand people, a wraparound balcony (where I stood), and decent sound. The band came out after the excellent Reuben's Accomplice, and played right down the album, just as advertised.
The mellow start to Clarity, "Table For Glasses," was fitting to slow burn the utter thrill for so many of hearing this album in this way. The final arching chorus was sung along with by everyone, including me, and I never do that crap.
The next few songs blistered by, "Lucky Denver Mint" obviously landing well, and inspiring some good movement among the older folks there, right on through "Your New Aesthetic," the dissonant rant against corporate radio, "Believe In What You Want," the dancey anthem that always sounds good live, to "A Sunday," which inspired the most singing thus far into the night, even in its mid-tempo romp, a sobering and fairly mature tale of rudely waking up to Saturday's excess.
Then came "Crush," the song most like Jimmy Eat World's talent for catchy punk that permeated Static Prevails and the 7" work, and would go on to be refined for the years of success following the rise of "The Middle." "Crush" has a great energy boost in the middle of the record, and was so for the evening as well.
"12.23.95" was an odd enough interlude in the record, though it is so simple and lovely that many folks have had it as a favorite, and it was the case that evening, as it effectively chilled things before leading into one of the best songs of the record.
"Just Watch The Fireworks" began with Jim Adkins grabbing a bow and looping a quick Sigur Ros moment of bowed Telecaster, and then launching into the epic song. This tune is one of the best examples of the face-front emotional earnestness that the record is loved for, though in today's indie rock, the lack of ironic detachment would gain criticism. The song effectively simmers at a medium pace until the long outro, growing to a whisper and electric guitar, then launching into the soaring jam underneath the high notes Jim effectively and tightly sang: "I'll stay up as late as it takes."
Then came what most folks consider the finest song on the record, and what is probably my favorite song that anyone has written: "For Me This Is Heaven," a fairly delicate tune built around the aforementioned line: "can you still feel the butterflies/can you still hear the last goodnight?"
This song shows the band at their subtle best, with the bass/drum groove defining the last chorus of the song from the rest of the song simply by opening up their notes to longer ones, from the bouncy groove of the rest of the song. The well-layered vocals, and the simple arrangement give an immense emotional weight to the end of the bridge into the last chorus-the high point of the entire album, cleverly wedged into the end of the middle, so time is left to come down from the experience without leaving it.
The whole night the band seemed happy to be there, and simply enjoying the time, rather than being uber-hyped or mellow, and before "For Me This Is Heaven" Jim announced this was one of his "favorite songs to play for you guys," and no one there could deny its special craft.
From there, the two rock songs following, "Blister" and "Clarity" were highly charged by the crowd and the band, clearly caught up in both release from the previous tune and expectation of the final piece. "Blister" showed the band still able to play rock music, and I mean Rock Music, aggressive, intelligent, and full of great hooks and energy.
So the night came to the end with the much-anticipated "Goodbye Sky Harbor," a melancholy and 17 minute long rumination on both personal thoughts and A Prayer For Owen Meany.
"Goodbye Sky Harbor" featured many things out of the normal for this scene of music, including a very patient and looping coda, growing incrementally with Jim's vocals, little notes here and there of "nah nah nah," and "do do do." Live, he did all of this with a loop station on the ground, ditching the acoustic guitar and dancing around half-nervously, half-caught up in the music, looping bit by bit as the section grew and grew under the band's patient playing. Tom turned to play organ and bell samples, putting away his looped guitar, and Zach played the repetitive drum section on a small snare, mimicking the sounds of the actual record.
As a piece of rock music, it was hard to surpass, utterly lovely and sublime, all in the humble setting of a rock band, as the band cut out for the vocal layers to linger before launching into an amazingly moving recreation of the House-y disintegration of the song that occurs on the record. They played it all, with Zach's fiery Drum & Bass fills, Jim dancing all about the stage, playing the descending Glockenspiel line and singing "I am but one small instrument" over the climaxing jam.
As you can hopefully tell, this was a once-in-a-lifetime event for fans of this record and this band, regardless of how one feels about the music that followed Clarity. The ability of a now middle aged band to bring this much maturity and energy to a ten year old record was inspiring and completely a gift to all who came. I urge you to listen to this album if you have yet to, and if you have, listen again, in its entire length, savoring the astounding piece of music that it is.
So when JEW announced the 10x10 tour, to celebrate the 10 years (!) since the record was released (and subsequently, foolishly ignored) by Capitol Records, I bought the nearest ticket as soon as it became available. There was no negotiation about it. I was attending.
Clarity is, for many people in their twenties and thirties, a zenith in the period's indie rock, or as it was less PC-called then, emocore. This is a time when Fall Out Boy would have been mocked, and not referred to as "emo," somewhere along the way the plot was lost. Yet when Clarity came out, it was an innovator in the mix of music streaming from the roots of Fugazi, Rites Of Spring, Christie Front Drive, Cap N' Jazz, Sunny Day Real Estate, Jawbox, and the like, a diverse group of music ranging from catchy to angular, all roughly related by the scene they were in, and by most being a movement in "post-punk," where punk aesthetic was stretched into melody and dynamics, both often understated in punk rock at the time.
The record pushed at the boundaries mostly in its epic scale (some longer songs), and in the use of electronic and orchestral layers, something definitely not done at the time in any coherent sense. Rocket From The Crypt had some horns, but this was another monster entirely. Radiohead was pushing these boundaries in a little more mainstream scene, but the use of samplers was pretty anathema among indie rock at the time. Clarity changed this for good. Like wise, "A Sunday" used the now ridiculous Auto-Tune for a BGV, way before Cher ever did, in a tasteful, vocoder way, more Daft Punk than T-Pain.
Yet the album's emotional depth and quality of composition is what lodged it in the hearts of so many young people of the turn of the century. It is the soundtrack to the times, deeply personal and reflective on social themes, leaning towards mysterious lyrics that helped to keep it from being solely based on relationship woes or railing against the consumer culture. "Lead my skeptic sight" was coupled with "Turn off your radio!" For me personally, no record is as complete since this one, in theme, imagery, soulfulness, earnestness, and musical experimenting with pop craftsmanship.
So the live show.
The Ogden Theater in Denver was a great venue of a couple of thousand people, a wraparound balcony (where I stood), and decent sound. The band came out after the excellent Reuben's Accomplice, and played right down the album, just as advertised.
The mellow start to Clarity, "Table For Glasses," was fitting to slow burn the utter thrill for so many of hearing this album in this way. The final arching chorus was sung along with by everyone, including me, and I never do that crap.
The next few songs blistered by, "Lucky Denver Mint" obviously landing well, and inspiring some good movement among the older folks there, right on through "Your New Aesthetic," the dissonant rant against corporate radio, "Believe In What You Want," the dancey anthem that always sounds good live, to "A Sunday," which inspired the most singing thus far into the night, even in its mid-tempo romp, a sobering and fairly mature tale of rudely waking up to Saturday's excess.
Then came "Crush," the song most like Jimmy Eat World's talent for catchy punk that permeated Static Prevails and the 7" work, and would go on to be refined for the years of success following the rise of "The Middle." "Crush" has a great energy boost in the middle of the record, and was so for the evening as well.
"12.23.95" was an odd enough interlude in the record, though it is so simple and lovely that many folks have had it as a favorite, and it was the case that evening, as it effectively chilled things before leading into one of the best songs of the record.
"Just Watch The Fireworks" began with Jim Adkins grabbing a bow and looping a quick Sigur Ros moment of bowed Telecaster, and then launching into the epic song. This tune is one of the best examples of the face-front emotional earnestness that the record is loved for, though in today's indie rock, the lack of ironic detachment would gain criticism. The song effectively simmers at a medium pace until the long outro, growing to a whisper and electric guitar, then launching into the soaring jam underneath the high notes Jim effectively and tightly sang: "I'll stay up as late as it takes."
Then came what most folks consider the finest song on the record, and what is probably my favorite song that anyone has written: "For Me This Is Heaven," a fairly delicate tune built around the aforementioned line: "can you still feel the butterflies/can you still hear the last goodnight?"
This song shows the band at their subtle best, with the bass/drum groove defining the last chorus of the song from the rest of the song simply by opening up their notes to longer ones, from the bouncy groove of the rest of the song. The well-layered vocals, and the simple arrangement give an immense emotional weight to the end of the bridge into the last chorus-the high point of the entire album, cleverly wedged into the end of the middle, so time is left to come down from the experience without leaving it.
The whole night the band seemed happy to be there, and simply enjoying the time, rather than being uber-hyped or mellow, and before "For Me This Is Heaven" Jim announced this was one of his "favorite songs to play for you guys," and no one there could deny its special craft.
From there, the two rock songs following, "Blister" and "Clarity" were highly charged by the crowd and the band, clearly caught up in both release from the previous tune and expectation of the final piece. "Blister" showed the band still able to play rock music, and I mean Rock Music, aggressive, intelligent, and full of great hooks and energy.
So the night came to the end with the much-anticipated "Goodbye Sky Harbor," a melancholy and 17 minute long rumination on both personal thoughts and A Prayer For Owen Meany.
"Goodbye Sky Harbor" featured many things out of the normal for this scene of music, including a very patient and looping coda, growing incrementally with Jim's vocals, little notes here and there of "nah nah nah," and "do do do." Live, he did all of this with a loop station on the ground, ditching the acoustic guitar and dancing around half-nervously, half-caught up in the music, looping bit by bit as the section grew and grew under the band's patient playing. Tom turned to play organ and bell samples, putting away his looped guitar, and Zach played the repetitive drum section on a small snare, mimicking the sounds of the actual record.
As a piece of rock music, it was hard to surpass, utterly lovely and sublime, all in the humble setting of a rock band, as the band cut out for the vocal layers to linger before launching into an amazingly moving recreation of the House-y disintegration of the song that occurs on the record. They played it all, with Zach's fiery Drum & Bass fills, Jim dancing all about the stage, playing the descending Glockenspiel line and singing "I am but one small instrument" over the climaxing jam.
As you can hopefully tell, this was a once-in-a-lifetime event for fans of this record and this band, regardless of how one feels about the music that followed Clarity. The ability of a now middle aged band to bring this much maturity and energy to a ten year old record was inspiring and completely a gift to all who came. I urge you to listen to this album if you have yet to, and if you have, listen again, in its entire length, savoring the astounding piece of music that it is.
The Weekly Interwebs #4 - If you've been living in a cave ...
3/03/2009 10:05:00 PM
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by YLIW
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0
comments
The intertubes have provided the opportunity for a biological term to find a new life. "Meme" is defined as "an element of a culture or system of behavior that may be considered to be passed from one individual to another by nongenetic means, especially imitation." If the internet has fried your brain, an internet meme is a phenomenon replicated throughout the internet via imitation. If you still don't get it, think to that lame 25 Random Things fad that took over Facebook for a few weeks. That's a meme, my friends, and, on the internet, memes make the world go round.
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